Entry 2. My road to recovery feels like one step forward, two steps back. Feb 4, 2022
Before you continue reading please considering checking out a gofundme campaign that a good friend of mine created to help me recover my dogs after I was forced to leave them behind in Vancouver when I had to come to Mexico. Here’s the link. Feel free to share it if you can’t contribute. Once I have my dogs with me I will donate all money left to a charity.
I’m starting this entry at around 1am. I thought I had a decent day until I started dealing with one of the main issues that I have going on in my life right now. As I log more entries of this blog, you will be able to understand how and why I ended up in the position I’m currently in.
My main concern right now is to be able to go back to Canada to recover my dogs. Under different circumstances I would’ve never left my dogs behind when I had to come to Mexico. I will post more details of what happened in due time. For now, long story short is that while I was penniless I got evicted from the house that I helped her setup, renovate and pay for the mortgage. We adopted three dogs together and she also brought a fourth gigantic dog and a bunny rabbit. When she originally took off I ended up taking care of all of the pets. Until one day she asked if she could borrow one of the small dogs for the weekend and never gave him back. When I got evicted and since two of the dogs are huge, I could’t find a place in Canada where I was be able to move into, that would allow me to keep both giant dogs. Because of their size I also wasn’t able to fly with them when I recently came to Mexico to stay at my parents’ place to start from scratch and recover emotionally and even financially.
Even before I found out everything about her lies and cheating she did when we were together, I asked her if she would be able to basically give me and the dogs a ride to Mexico. I offered to pay for the expenses with some money I was going to make from selling a nice big couch that I had bought when I still had some money and a TV that I also had. I actually thought she was going to say yes because I had been helping her pay for the new car she was driving. And also because just a few weeks ago she had said that if I came to Mexico she would try to meet me here. I even told her that I wanted to come to Mexico with the dogs because I wasn’t able to find a place to live with them in Canada and that I wasn’t trying to do a road trip with her to convince her to get back together. I really asked as a favor for the dogs so they would be able to live with me here in Mexico at my parents’ house where they’d have enough space to be happy and run around. Her answer was that she was really busy with work and couldn’t take the time to drive me and the dogs. Later I found out that the truth was that she was already in a relationship with her new supply. Imagine how I felt when I saw photos and videos of the new supply driving the car I had been helping her pay for, even when I barely had money to pay for my own food. It broke me when I saw the images of both of them happy going on road trips while I was days away from not having a place to stay and leave the dogs under her care until I could go back to Canada to recover them.
Unfortunately, I told her that because of the circumstances she was going to have to take care of the dogs until I could get back on my feet and get back to Canada to get them from her. I had to fly to Mexico on December 25th and leave the dogs at the house I had been evicted from, which even though I helped a lot to improve and pay part of the mortgage of that house, it was all under her name because I never asked for receipts of any of the contributions, payments I made or all the renovations and fixtures I paid for.
One of the hardest and saddest moments of my life was the moment that the Uber came to pick me up to drive me to the airport and I had to pretend I was just going out for a bit while the dogs had no idea I was going to have to leave them under her care for an indefinite time. I couldn’t hold back my tears when I got in the Uber and even while I was at the airport waiting to board the flight.
Since I got to Mexico I have been working so hard to be able to afford to get back to Canada to get my sweet dogs. They were truly my saviours and prevented me from falling into a deeper depression or doing something stupid. They were my only companion during the really tough times I’ve been living for almost two years and now I know the last thing I can do for them is to save them, have them with me and give them the home and love they deserve for the rest of their lives. Unfortunately I’ve found out through a neighbour that she hasn’t been taking care of them properly. The neighbour believes that she has given away one of them to the pound or a shelter because he hasn’t seen him in a while and he also told me that her new supply treats the dogs horribly and yells at them like crazy. He even mentioned that he is probably going to call the police next time he’s abusing the dogs or getting into a fight with my ex. They’re supposed to fight like crazy with each other. Which is explainable because they have a drug problem. That’s one of the few things she came clean about when I first caught her cheating. She convinced me she wasn’t cheating and got away by saying that she had just been behaving oddly because she had been using lots of cocaine. I stupidly believed she wasn’t cheating and that she had only been using cocaine.
She’s blocked me on social media so I emailed her asking her again to please take care of the digs until I can go get them. And that if due to neglect something happens to either of the dogs or they get sent to a pound and put down I will have to take some sort of legal action. I really don’t want to ever have to talk to her or see her again but she hasn’t replied to me yet.
I thought I would setup a GoFundMe campaign to try and get enough donations to be able to get a vehicle and get the dogs in Canada and then drive to Mexico with them. Part of my frustration today was that I haven’t been able to setup the campaign because I’m located in Mexico and even with a VPN I still can’t create the profile to setup the campaign. I was trying to get my account verified with a text and then I realized that she had just cancelled my Canadian cellphone line. We still had a contract on a family plan until February 14th but she went ahead and cancelled it I guess a few days ago. So I haven’t been able to verify the GoFundMe campaign. The reason why the contract of the family plan expires on February 14th is because that time we went to the mall and I got a new phone and stupidly bought one for her for Valentine’s the day we signed a new contract on a family plan.
Things like me not being able to go back for the dogs yet and her cancelling my Canadian phone number really get me down because I feel like no matter how far I am from her she still has so much power over how I feel. Specially until I am able to make enough money to get back to Canada to get the doggies back. That’s why it feels like even if I’m able to take a step forward, things like this bring me back a couple steps. I’m exhausted from all of this. All I want is to be able to have my dogs safe with me.
I guess there will be a few entries on this blog when I’m typing with tears falling down my face like tonight’s.
Once I’m able to figure out the setup of the GoFundMe campaign I will post it here too. I guess there’s no harm in having more exposure. In the meantime I’m posting one of the songs I was playing while I wrote this entry. Which ironically is called Moving Out by one of my favourite British bands, Athlete.
Thanks
This Charming Man
